1
00:00:01,029 --> 00:00:03,063
[Sheep bleats]
2
00:00:03,064 --> 00:00:05,332
[Indistinct conversations]
3
00:00:06,233 --> 00:00:07,400
'Sup?
4
00:00:07,401 --> 00:00:09,702
Hey. Aren't you that guy from the poster?
5
00:00:09,703 --> 00:00:12,570
What? N-no. That's m... that's my cousin.
6
00:00:12,572 --> 00:00:14,172
We got different cheekbones.
7
00:00:14,173 --> 00:00:15,382
His are better, the lucky bastard.
8
00:00:15,442 --> 00:00:17,476
Well, I think it's you.
I'm getting that reward!
9
00:00:17,477 --> 00:00:18,711
Hold on, hold on!
10
00:00:18,712 --> 00:00:20,579
If you hand me over, they'll kill me.
11
00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:22,214
Do you really want my death
on your conscience
12
00:00:22,215 --> 00:00:23,649
for six lousy gold pieces?
13
00:00:23,650 --> 00:00:25,684
What could you even buy with that?
14
00:00:25,685 --> 00:00:26,852
A farm!
15
00:00:26,853 --> 00:00:29,154
I could get a new wife. I hate the old one!
16
00:00:29,155 --> 00:00:31,290
I'm changing mine. I want a new wife, too!
17
00:00:31,291 --> 00:00:32,458
Wait! Please!
18
00:00:32,459 --> 00:00:34,560
Even if you deliver me
to the king and queen,
19
00:00:34,561 --> 00:00:35,828
they'll never pay!
20
00:00:35,829 --> 00:00:38,297
Look what they've done
to this once proud kingdom.
21
00:00:38,298 --> 00:00:41,400
They plundered and destroyed it
and ruined all of our lives!
22
00:00:41,401 --> 00:00:43,569
I mean, where's it written that those jerks
23
00:00:43,570 --> 00:00:45,771
get to live in the castle and feast on lamb
24
00:00:45,772 --> 00:00:48,707
while the rest of us
wallow in the muck and starve?!
25
00:00:48,708 --> 00:00:50,275
Where is it written?
26
00:00:50,276 --> 00:00:51,477
The Kingdom Charter.
27
00:00:51,478 --> 00:00:52,945
Forget where it's written.
28
00:00:52,946 --> 00:00:56,682
I say we storm the castle
29
00:00:56,683 --> 00:00:58,984
and take back what's rightfully ours.
30
00:00:58,985 --> 00:01:00,619
Who's with me?!
31
00:01:00,620 --> 00:01:02,588
[All cheering]
32
00:01:02,589 --> 00:01:05,057
We will march, and we'll fight
33
00:01:05,058 --> 00:01:07,426
For the cause of good and right
34
00:01:07,427 --> 00:01:10,529
Though the odds of us surviving
35
00:01:10,530 --> 00:01:13,332
Are ridiculously slight
36
00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:15,701
And we'll stand proud and tall
37
00:01:15,702 --> 00:01:18,237
Till they come to kill us all
38
00:01:18,238 --> 00:01:21,607
Then we'll beg and plead
and soil ourselves
39
00:01:21,608 --> 00:01:24,042
As, one by one, we fall
40
00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:26,478
Some they'll slash, some they'll hack
41
00:01:26,479 --> 00:01:29,281
Some they'll bludgeon blue and black
42
00:01:29,282 --> 00:01:31,884
Some they'll gut from top to bottom
43
00:01:31,885 --> 00:01:34,353
Some they'll mangle front to back
44
00:01:34,354 --> 00:01:37,322
And we'll all realize
45
00:01:37,323 --> 00:01:40,092
As they're gouging out our eyes
46
00:01:40,093 --> 00:01:42,661
That tomorrow we'll regret it
47
00:01:42,662 --> 00:01:46,898
But today, we rise
48
00:01:48,334 --> 00:01:53,172
And our corpses will rot on the plain
49
00:01:53,173 --> 00:01:58,710
Leaving only a gross, bloody stain
50
00:01:58,711 --> 00:02:01,280
Then the world, it will see
51
00:02:01,281 --> 00:02:04,049
As will all of history
52
00:02:04,050 --> 00:02:06,652
We had truth on our side
53
00:02:06,653 --> 00:02:09,455
But we still died in vain
54
00:02:09,456 --> 00:02:12,024
And the brave, lucky few
55
00:02:12,025 --> 00:02:14,593
Who will somehow make it through
56
00:02:14,594 --> 00:02:16,995
Scarred for life and missing limbs
57
00:02:16,996 --> 00:02:19,731
And needing help to pee and poo
58
00:02:19,732 --> 00:02:22,401
They can stand 'neath these skies
59
00:02:22,402 --> 00:02:25,103
Begging change from passerbys
60
00:02:25,104 --> 00:02:27,840
Is it hopeless? Yep, you said it
61
00:02:27,841 --> 00:02:30,576
We might as well forget it
62
00:02:30,577 --> 00:02:33,045
Tomorrow, we'll regret it
63
00:02:33,046 --> 00:02:35,514
But today, we rise
64
00:02:35,515 --> 00:02:38,350
Oh, my God, will we regret it
65
00:02:38,351 --> 00:02:44,455
But today, we ri-i-i-i-se
66
00:02:47,260 --> 00:02:49,161
Not so tough now, are you?!
67
00:02:49,162 --> 00:02:51,697
We're gonna tear this castle down!
68
00:02:51,698 --> 00:02:53,999
Right, everybody?!
69
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,534
I said, right, everybody?!
70
00:02:59,539 --> 00:03:02,641
Tell me, why do musicals
always get me so worked up?
71
00:03:02,642 --> 00:03:04,967
Galavant - S02E06
About Last Knight
72
00:03:04,968 --> 00:03:06,968
sync and correction by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com
73
00:03:09,878 --> 00:03:12,113
[Horse grunts]
74
00:03:12,114 --> 00:03:13,481
It stopped.
75
00:03:13,482 --> 00:03:15,082
This is what happened to the last one.
76
00:03:15,083 --> 00:03:16,517
Okay, okay.
77
00:03:16,518 --> 00:03:18,119
Let's just try giving it a kick.
78
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:19,076
It worked before.
79
00:03:19,447 --> 00:03:21,314
1, 2, 3.
80
00:03:21,323 --> 00:03:22,857
Kick.
81
00:03:22,858 --> 00:03:23,925
Great.
82
00:03:23,926 --> 00:03:25,492
It's useless.
83
00:03:26,896 --> 00:03:28,096
[Grunts]
84
00:03:28,097 --> 00:03:30,131
How could things have gone
so bad so quickly?
85
00:03:30,132 --> 00:03:32,233
Those stupid bats ate all our food.
86
00:03:32,234 --> 00:03:33,735
We all got the same cold.
87
00:03:33,736 --> 00:03:36,037
- Worst of all...
- Please don't say it again.
88
00:03:36,038 --> 00:03:38,373
- We had to eat that family of hobbits.
- Ugh.
89
00:03:38,374 --> 00:03:39,807
Well, we wouldn't have had to
90
00:03:39,808 --> 00:03:41,442
if you'd let us eat your stupid iguana.
91
00:03:41,443 --> 00:03:45,079
Tad Cooper is a dragon,
and we are not eating a dragon.
92
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:49,017
He's a lizard.
A very sumptuous, meaty lizard.
93
00:03:49,018 --> 00:03:51,386
Richard, look, I'm sorry
we had to eat hobbits.
94
00:03:51,387 --> 00:03:53,488
I'm sorry we'll soon have to
eat your igua...
95
00:03:53,489 --> 00:03:55,290
- [clears throat]
- Dragon.
96
00:03:55,291 --> 00:03:58,126
But we don't have a choice. We're starving.
97
00:03:58,127 --> 00:04:00,528
Hold on a minute.
98
00:04:00,529 --> 00:04:04,799
"Entering the property
of Sir Arnold Galavant."
99
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,000
Huh.
100
00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:08,202
Is he any relation of yours?
101
00:04:08,203 --> 00:04:10,304
Uh...No.
102
00:04:14,410 --> 00:04:15,375
Maybe.
103
00:04:17,479 --> 00:04:19,080
Okay, fine. Yes, he's my dad.
104
00:04:19,081 --> 00:04:21,082
Look, I knew he lived
around here somewhere.
105
00:04:21,083 --> 00:04:22,383
I just don't want to see him.
106
00:04:22,384 --> 00:04:23,685
You knew? We ate hobbits.
107
00:04:23,686 --> 00:04:24,919
Oh, forget about them.
108
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,155
I smell backstory, and I love backstory.
109
00:04:27,156 --> 00:04:28,756
Honestly, I don't want to talk about it.
110
00:04:28,757 --> 00:04:29,991
Can we just move on?
111
00:04:29,992 --> 00:04:31,492
I'm sure we could find
a warm bed and a nice meal
112
00:04:31,493 --> 00:04:33,229
in literally any other direction.
113
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,120
_
114
00:04:35,121 --> 00:04:37,121
_
115
00:04:37,122 --> 00:04:39,122
_
116
00:04:40,235 --> 00:04:42,236
Oh, fiddlesticks.
117
00:04:42,237 --> 00:04:45,139
As you all know,
this is the first birthday party
118
00:04:45,140 --> 00:04:47,775
I've thrown for Gareth
since he became king.
119
00:04:47,776 --> 00:04:49,877
If you ruin the surprise,
120
00:04:49,878 --> 00:04:51,678
I'll cut your tongue out with a dull knife.
121
00:04:52,681 --> 00:04:56,050
Thanks for your hard work,
and I cherish you one and all.
122
00:04:56,051 --> 00:04:57,185
He's coming!
123
00:04:57,186 --> 00:04:58,720
Oh! Places, everyone!
124
00:04:58,721 --> 00:05:00,120
[Giggles]
125
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,061
All: Surprise!
126
00:05:07,062 --> 00:05:08,997
[Grunting]
127
00:05:08,998 --> 00:05:10,598
Gareth! Wait!
128
00:05:10,599 --> 00:05:13,167
It's a birthday party for you,
you kook. [Chuckles]
129
00:05:13,168 --> 00:05:14,636
Oh.
130
00:05:14,637 --> 00:05:16,604
Come take a look at your gifts.
131
00:05:16,605 --> 00:05:18,739
I think you're going to love them.
132
00:05:21,243 --> 00:05:22,510
This is a bit fancy.
133
00:05:22,511 --> 00:05:23,911
It's a crystal nut bowl.
134
00:05:23,912 --> 00:05:25,480
Yeah.
135
00:05:25,481 --> 00:05:26,781
It'll never fit.
136
00:05:26,782 --> 00:05:29,384
No, for dinner parties.
137
00:05:29,385 --> 00:05:30,551
[Clears throat]
138
00:05:30,552 --> 00:05:31,552
Mm.
139
00:05:31,553 --> 00:05:33,121
You don't like it?
140
00:05:33,122 --> 00:05:34,422
It's not that.
141
00:05:34,423 --> 00:05:35,790
It's just that,
142
00:05:35,791 --> 00:05:38,559
all this hoity-toity king stuff...
143
00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:39,961
[Sighs]
144
00:05:39,962 --> 00:05:41,529
It's just not me.
145
00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:44,132
Oh. [Chuckles] Okay.
146
00:05:44,133 --> 00:05:47,935
So, what is you, Gareth?
147
00:05:47,936 --> 00:05:50,371
I mean, if you could get
anything for your birthday,
148
00:05:50,372 --> 00:05:51,773
what would it be?
149
00:05:51,774 --> 00:05:53,240
A scar.
150
00:05:54,610 --> 00:05:56,477
Every year, on my birthday,
151
00:05:56,478 --> 00:05:59,514
we used to go down the pub
and get in a good old scrap.
152
00:05:59,515 --> 00:06:00,882
When I was 9 years old,
153
00:06:00,883 --> 00:06:02,950
I went to the pub and got this one.
154
00:06:02,951 --> 00:06:05,687
Greatest gift a kid could ever want.
155
00:06:05,688 --> 00:06:07,889
This one, I was 14.
156
00:06:07,890 --> 00:06:10,658
I left a man bleeding to death
in the sawdust.
157
00:06:10,659 --> 00:06:13,528
He wanted me to finish him off,
but I wouldn't.
158
00:06:13,529 --> 00:06:16,698
[Laughs]
159
00:06:16,699 --> 00:06:18,299
That's what we're going to do.
160
00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:21,636
I'm taking you to the sleaziest
tavern in Valencia...
161
00:06:21,637 --> 00:06:25,840
To get you a new birthday scar.
162
00:06:25,841 --> 00:06:27,942
Really?
163
00:06:27,943 --> 00:06:30,711
[Fanfare]
164
00:06:31,814 --> 00:06:34,949
[Men grunting]
165
00:06:34,950 --> 00:06:37,685
Where's Wormwood?
166
00:06:37,686 --> 00:06:40,188
My plan is almost ready, Barry.
167
00:06:40,189 --> 00:06:41,622
Your wedding plan?
168
00:06:41,623 --> 00:06:42,857
Yes, and my evil plan.
169
00:06:42,858 --> 00:06:44,459
I thought that was a plot.
170
00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:45,727
Oh, for...
171
00:06:45,728 --> 00:06:48,763
Actually, if I'm being honest,
I'm losing track myself.
172
00:06:48,764 --> 00:06:51,466
[Door opens]
173
00:06:51,467 --> 00:06:54,635
Mr. Wormwood, we need to talk.
174
00:06:54,636 --> 00:06:56,404
[Clears throat]
175
00:06:56,405 --> 00:06:59,207
My lady, there's a perfectly
good explanation.
176
00:06:59,208 --> 00:07:00,842
You were using it to control my mind
177
00:07:00,843 --> 00:07:03,811
and take over our kingdom as
part of some nefarious scheme.
178
00:07:03,812 --> 00:07:05,847
Okay, yes, that is the explanation.
179
00:07:05,848 --> 00:07:07,548
You're lucky I don't have my guards
180
00:07:07,549 --> 00:07:09,050
strike you down just for that.
181
00:07:09,051 --> 00:07:10,785
[Chuckles]
182
00:07:10,786 --> 00:07:14,756
Oh, Princess, I'm a master
of the dark arts, yes.
183
00:07:14,757 --> 00:07:16,858
And the only thing to kill me is the sword
184
00:07:16,859 --> 00:07:19,861
wielded by the one true king
to unite them all.
185
00:07:19,862 --> 00:07:22,530
And no one knows where that is.
186
00:07:22,531 --> 00:07:25,333
Damn it!
187
00:07:25,334 --> 00:07:27,368
There we go.
188
00:07:27,369 --> 00:07:30,471
I can still have them chop off your arms.
189
00:07:30,472 --> 00:07:31,606
Ha!
190
00:07:31,607 --> 00:07:33,207
[Swords unsheathe] Oh.
191
00:07:33,208 --> 00:07:34,742
Can you? Can she?
192
00:07:34,743 --> 00:07:36,344
Yes. Hadn't thought of that.
193
00:07:36,345 --> 00:07:39,413
Begone, Chester Wormwood.
194
00:07:39,414 --> 00:07:42,884
You are banished from Hortensia.
195
00:07:42,885 --> 00:07:43,851
Fine.
196
00:07:43,852 --> 00:07:46,186
You win... for now.
197
00:07:47,055 --> 00:07:48,422
But mark my words,
198
00:07:48,423 --> 00:07:51,726
I will return
to take this kingdom by force,
199
00:07:51,727 --> 00:07:54,796
and you and your family will
decorate my highest tower...
200
00:07:54,797 --> 00:07:56,998
With your heads!
201
00:07:56,999 --> 00:07:59,667
Oh, but don't forget...
The wedding is fast approaching,
202
00:07:59,668 --> 00:08:02,203
so have the groomsmen's gifts
engraved with their initials.
203
00:08:02,204 --> 00:08:04,472
[Smooches] It's a classy move.
204
00:08:04,473 --> 00:08:08,176
But you will die, I swear.
205
00:08:08,177 --> 00:08:10,511
Oh, and don't forget
to tip the waiters on the day.
206
00:08:10,512 --> 00:08:13,014
Oh, they work so hard.
207
00:08:13,015 --> 00:08:16,283
Rot in hell, swine!
208
00:08:18,887 --> 00:08:20,388
Barry.
209
00:08:20,389 --> 00:08:21,823
We're here. Now, look...
210
00:08:21,824 --> 00:08:24,425
Are you sure you wouldn't rather
face starvation?
211
00:08:24,426 --> 00:08:25,660
I would.
212
00:08:25,661 --> 00:08:27,495
You know, I do not understand it.
213
00:08:27,496 --> 00:08:29,530
My father died when I was just a boy.
214
00:08:29,531 --> 00:08:31,632
I would do anything to see him again.
215
00:08:31,633 --> 00:08:32,767
- So hungry.
- Yeah.
216
00:08:32,768 --> 00:08:35,703
Well, your dad probably
wasn't a serial philanderer
217
00:08:35,704 --> 00:08:38,005
who was never around and left your mum.
218
00:08:38,006 --> 00:08:39,307
That is so sad.
219
00:08:39,308 --> 00:08:40,808
Not as sad as having a dead dad, right?
220
00:08:40,809 --> 00:08:42,443
- I mean, my story's sadder.
- Mm.
221
00:08:42,444 --> 00:08:45,179
And just wait until he finds out
I'm on a quest for love.
222
00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:46,981
Oh! He's gonna make such fun of it.
223
00:08:46,982 --> 00:08:48,749
Well, if he criticizes you over dinner,
224
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:50,318
I'm fine with that,
especially if dinner is steak.
225
00:08:50,319 --> 00:08:51,686
Hear, hear.
226
00:08:51,687 --> 00:08:55,556
Okay. Well, be prepared to meet
an ice-cold, loveless monster.
227
00:08:55,557 --> 00:08:56,657
[Children shouting]
228
00:08:56,658 --> 00:08:59,126
Ha ha ha!
229
00:08:59,127 --> 00:09:01,963
Ah, greetings, son! It's been forever!
230
00:09:01,964 --> 00:09:02,964
Come in.
231
00:09:02,965 --> 00:09:04,832
Oh, yeah. He seems terrible.
232
00:09:04,833 --> 00:09:07,468
Arnold: Boys, make way, make way, make way.
233
00:09:07,469 --> 00:09:09,536
Welcome, welcome.
234
00:09:12,724 --> 00:09:14,758
[Chuckles] I will be damned.
235
00:09:14,759 --> 00:09:18,093
I never thought
I'd live to see my oldest son
236
00:09:18,095 --> 00:09:19,595
with such a bushy beard.
237
00:09:19,596 --> 00:09:22,031
It's not bushy.
It's correct for the period.
238
00:09:22,032 --> 00:09:24,500
And it suits you. Come, come, come.
239
00:09:24,501 --> 00:09:26,536
You have a lovely home, sir.
240
00:09:26,537 --> 00:09:27,637
Thank you.
241
00:09:27,638 --> 00:09:29,005
You have a lot of children.
242
00:09:29,006 --> 00:09:31,007
Your wife must be so sore.
243
00:09:31,008 --> 00:09:32,408
They're not mine.
244
00:09:32,409 --> 00:09:35,311
I run a swordsmanship school
for at-risk youth.
245
00:09:35,312 --> 00:09:38,414
Have been ever since
I retired from the heroics game.
246
00:09:38,415 --> 00:09:39,749
[Grunts]
247
00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:41,117
Hey, boys!
248
00:09:41,118 --> 00:09:42,351
[Boys shouting]
249
00:09:42,352 --> 00:09:44,520
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
250
00:09:44,521 --> 00:09:46,122
One at a time.
251
00:09:46,123 --> 00:09:49,592
Oh, please.
252
00:09:49,593 --> 00:09:52,595
[Patrons cheering]
253
00:09:52,596 --> 00:09:55,797
254
00:09:56,233 --> 00:09:58,134
Man: Kill him!
255
00:09:58,135 --> 00:09:59,167
Crown!
256
00:10:00,838 --> 00:10:04,073
So, how does this whole
bar-fight thing work?
257
00:10:04,074 --> 00:10:06,442
Well, usually, we have a pint or two.
258
00:10:06,443 --> 00:10:08,077
And then I catch someone looking at me,
259
00:10:08,078 --> 00:10:10,847
I insult his mother, and then away we go.
260
00:10:10,848 --> 00:10:12,681
Oh, good. Let's start.
261
00:10:15,152 --> 00:10:16,919
Oh. What about him?
262
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,255
He gave you a momentary glance.
263
00:10:19,256 --> 00:10:20,755
Mm. Did he?
264
00:10:22,126 --> 00:10:23,826
Oy!
265
00:10:23,827 --> 00:10:25,094
You got a problem?
266
00:10:25,095 --> 00:10:27,163
Uh, none at all, uh, Your Highness.
267
00:10:27,170 --> 00:10:28,431
Well, you should.
268
00:10:28,432 --> 00:10:31,400
King Gareth just called
your mother a two-bit hussy.
269
00:10:31,401 --> 00:10:33,169
Oh, uh, right you are, My King!
270
00:10:33,170 --> 00:10:34,337
My mother is a hussy.
271
00:10:34,338 --> 00:10:36,439
In fact, she's the biggest hussy
in the land.
272
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,074
Indeed, I am, your grace!
273
00:10:38,075 --> 00:10:41,077
My mother sells herself,
as well, Your Majesty.
274
00:10:41,078 --> 00:10:42,278
Mine too!
275
00:10:42,279 --> 00:10:44,180
Filthiest woman in
the whole red-candle district.
276
00:10:44,181 --> 00:10:45,381
My father's a hussy!
277
00:10:45,382 --> 00:10:48,083
[All shouting indistinctly]
278
00:10:53,323 --> 00:10:56,792
For God's sake, Barry, try and keep up!
279
00:10:56,793 --> 00:10:59,929
Do you have any idea where we are?
280
00:10:59,930 --> 00:11:02,698
Barry, are you completely illiterate?
281
00:11:02,699 --> 00:11:05,701
Look, we're in the forest of coincidence.
282
00:11:05,702 --> 00:11:09,972
God, I wish we had a cart right now.
283
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:12,675
Free cart! No way. [Chuckles]
284
00:11:12,676 --> 00:11:15,444
Finally, a stroke of luck.
285
00:11:15,445 --> 00:11:17,680
Ah, hey, you there... Little chap.
286
00:11:17,681 --> 00:11:19,482
Where are you coming from?
287
00:11:19,483 --> 00:11:22,685
Valencia. I'm escaping,
and I couldn't be more lost.
288
00:11:22,686 --> 00:11:24,453
How very strange.
289
00:11:24,454 --> 00:11:26,556
We're escaping from Hortensia.
290
00:11:26,557 --> 00:11:28,758
Hey, maybe we can help each other.
291
00:11:28,759 --> 00:11:29,859
That'd be brilliant.
292
00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:31,994
I'm trying to put as much distance as I can
293
00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:34,230
between myself
and an insane king and queen.
294
00:11:34,231 --> 00:11:36,399
[Chuckles] Believe me, we get that.
295
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:39,101
We've just been kicked out
by Princess Isabella.
296
00:11:39,102 --> 00:11:40,703
- Princess Isabella?
- Yeah.
297
00:11:40,704 --> 00:11:42,205
She's one of the people I'm looking for.
298
00:11:42,206 --> 00:11:44,040
Really? How incredible.
299
00:11:44,041 --> 00:11:46,442
I'm desperate to find her
and her true love, Galavant.
300
00:11:46,443 --> 00:11:47,777
What are you talking about?
301
00:11:47,778 --> 00:11:49,645
Galavant told her he wished she would die.
302
00:11:49,646 --> 00:11:51,881
In a fart, if I remember correctly.
303
00:11:51,882 --> 00:11:53,816
Galavant never makes fart jokes.
304
00:11:53,817 --> 00:11:55,818
No, it must be a misunderstanding.
305
00:11:55,819 --> 00:11:58,087
I have to find him right away, but how?
306
00:11:58,088 --> 00:11:59,388
Excuse me. Did you say "Galavant"?
307
00:11:59,389 --> 00:12:02,491
Oh, I hear he's staying at his father's place
just a five days' walk away from here.
308
00:12:02,492 --> 00:12:04,760
Oh. And I just found his sword.
309
00:12:04,761 --> 00:12:05,761
Do you want it?
310
00:12:05,762 --> 00:12:07,863
Hell, yeah.
311
00:12:07,864 --> 00:12:10,466
Oh, wow. This is amazing.
312
00:12:10,467 --> 00:12:13,202
If only I had a horse
I could make it by nightfall.
313
00:12:13,203 --> 00:12:15,071
- Man: Horse for sale!
- [Horse whinnies]
314
00:12:15,072 --> 00:12:16,639
Horse for sale!
315
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,908
Take you five days' walk
in a single afternoon.
316
00:12:18,909 --> 00:12:20,743
Oh, my God. That's perfect.
317
00:12:20,744 --> 00:12:22,044
But I have no money.
318
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:23,246
I don't need money.
319
00:12:23,247 --> 00:12:25,982
What I need is a used pair of size 7 shoes.
320
00:12:25,983 --> 00:12:27,216
I'm a size 7.
321
00:12:27,217 --> 00:12:29,018
And I have an extra pair.
322
00:12:29,019 --> 00:12:30,820
What are the odds?! Let's do this.
323
00:12:30,821 --> 00:12:32,288
[Both laugh]
324
00:12:32,289 --> 00:12:33,688
Yipee!
325
00:12:35,459 --> 00:12:36,759
Good luck to you, friends.
326
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,694
If you're in Valencia, be careful.
327
00:12:38,695 --> 00:12:41,630
The king and queen
are crazy, war-minded monsters.
328
00:12:44,601 --> 00:12:47,103
Crazy, war-minded monsters.
329
00:12:47,104 --> 00:12:48,404
[Chuckles]
330
00:12:48,405 --> 00:12:51,407
What a wonderful coincidence.
331
00:12:51,408 --> 00:12:55,511
All right, boys, who's gonna train me?
332
00:12:55,512 --> 00:12:56,378
Oh.
333
00:12:57,748 --> 00:12:59,048
Oh! Watch the face!
334
00:12:59,049 --> 00:13:00,483
What's wrong with you?
335
00:13:00,484 --> 00:13:02,652
Good Lord.
336
00:13:02,653 --> 00:13:04,587
You know, there was a time
when I would've paid
337
00:13:04,588 --> 00:13:05,621
good money to see this.
338
00:13:05,622 --> 00:13:07,290
It's nice that he's good with kids, though.
339
00:13:07,291 --> 00:13:08,991
Why, you little... [Grunts]
340
00:13:08,992 --> 00:13:10,526
Come here, come here!
341
00:13:10,527 --> 00:13:12,028
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
342
00:13:12,029 --> 00:13:14,397
Galavant, I'm starting to worry
that Richard won't be ready
343
00:13:14,398 --> 00:13:15,531
when the real battle comes.
344
00:13:15,532 --> 00:13:18,000
Careful, Roberta.
345
00:13:18,001 --> 00:13:20,536
You're starting to sound like
someone who cares for the guy.
346
00:13:20,537 --> 00:13:23,772
In love with him? Me? [Scoffs] What?
347
00:13:25,042 --> 00:13:27,643
I'm not in love with him.
348
00:13:27,644 --> 00:13:29,078
What's wrong with you people?!
349
00:13:29,079 --> 00:13:31,146
At all.
350
00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:35,451
Sir Galavant, tell us what it was like
351
00:13:35,452 --> 00:13:37,053
to grow up with your awesome dad.
352
00:13:37,054 --> 00:13:38,788
- Yeah, tell us!
- You're so lucky!
353
00:13:38,789 --> 00:13:40,156
Well, kiddies...
354
00:13:40,157 --> 00:13:41,791
There was this one time...
355
00:13:41,792 --> 00:13:44,393
Well, I remember it like it was yesterday.
356
00:13:44,394 --> 00:13:45,761
Gather 'round.
357
00:13:45,762 --> 00:13:48,130
He told my mother that he didn't love her
358
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:49,565
right in front of my face.
359
00:13:49,566 --> 00:13:51,334
And then he passed out on the dog.
360
00:13:51,335 --> 00:13:54,737
And it was Christmas, and the dog died.
361
00:13:54,738 --> 00:14:00,576
That man doesn't care
about anybody but himself.
362
00:14:00,577 --> 00:14:01,810
That's not true.
363
00:14:03,647 --> 00:14:05,348
I was starving in the poorhouse
364
00:14:05,349 --> 00:14:07,083
Where they fed us twice a year
365
00:14:07,084 --> 00:14:09,552
And they tossed me out
the day I asked for more
366
00:14:09,553 --> 00:14:10,686
Aw.
367
00:14:10,687 --> 00:14:12,121
Then your dad brought me to your house
368
00:14:12,122 --> 00:14:13,789
And he gave me bread and beer
369
00:14:13,790 --> 00:14:16,525
Also, everything you left here
in your drawer
370
00:14:16,526 --> 00:14:17,560
Wait. What?
371
00:14:17,561 --> 00:14:18,728
He was there, he was there
372
00:14:18,729 --> 00:14:20,529
Gave me all your underwear
373
00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:23,599
With his sweet, loving care,
he was there
374
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,567
You've got to be kidding me.
375
00:14:27,104 --> 00:14:28,771
I was carried off by slavers
376
00:14:28,772 --> 00:14:30,539
Where my parents died of pox
377
00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:33,042
And they sold me
to be rendered into glue
378
00:14:33,043 --> 00:14:34,176
Ew!
379
00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:35,511
Then your dad did me two favors
380
00:14:35,512 --> 00:14:37,012
First, he cleaned their freaking clocks
381
00:14:37,013 --> 00:14:39,648
Then he gave me all the gear
he gave to you
382
00:14:39,649 --> 00:14:40,950
Hey, that's my favorite hat!
383
00:14:40,951 --> 00:14:42,184
He was there, he was there
384
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,919
Random back-flip in the air
385
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,421
- All: Yay!
-
So much more
386
00:14:45,422 --> 00:14:46,255
-
Love to spare
-
Love to spare
387
00:14:46,256 --> 00:14:47,156
Such a gem
388
00:14:47,157 --> 00:14:48,391
-
Such a...
- Stop!
389
00:14:48,392 --> 00:14:49,759
I was practically abandoned
390
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,527
By that smug and selfish jerk
391
00:14:51,528 --> 00:14:53,963
It's like nothing that I did
was quite enough
392
00:14:53,964 --> 00:14:54,964
That's rough.
393
00:14:54,965 --> 00:14:56,599
Plus, his ego's out of hand
394
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,267
And all he cares about is work
395
00:14:58,268 --> 00:15:00,536
And I can't believe
he gave you all my stuff
396
00:15:00,537 --> 00:15:01,670
What?! No!
397
00:15:01,671 --> 00:15:03,572
-
He was there
-
Never there
398
00:15:03,573 --> 00:15:05,074
-
He was...
-
Mever, ever there
399
00:15:05,075 --> 00:15:06,809
-
Sweet and kind
-
Au contraire
400
00:15:06,810 --> 00:15:09,011
-
He's a Saint
-
Not a prayer
401
00:15:09,012 --> 00:15:10,346
Nasty and cold-hearted
402
00:15:10,347 --> 00:15:11,981
Such a pig, don't get me started
403
00:15:11,982 --> 00:15:13,716
He's a schmuck, he's a schmo
404
00:15:13,717 --> 00:15:15,484
He's the worst, I should know
405
00:15:15,485 --> 00:15:18,621
He's my dad, he's a cad
406
00:15:18,622 --> 00:15:21,322
[Sighs] He's right behind me, isn't he?
407
00:15:27,019 --> 00:15:29,253
Mama! Dad.
408
00:15:29,254 --> 00:15:30,755
You look terrible.
409
00:15:30,756 --> 00:15:32,657
Because you threw us in the dungeon.
410
00:15:33,059 --> 00:15:34,959
I know. And I'm so sorry.
411
00:15:34,959 --> 00:15:36,627
But it wasn't me. It was a spell.
412
00:15:36,628 --> 00:15:38,462
We slept in an inch of water.
413
00:15:38,463 --> 00:15:40,697
I have mold in the crack of my tuchus.
414
00:15:40,698 --> 00:15:42,399
Todd, enough.
415
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:46,236
Isabella, we owe you an apology.
416
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:49,039
We tried to force you
to be somebody you weren't.
417
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,941
And we are sorry.
418
00:15:50,942 --> 00:15:52,743
Sorry.
419
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,211
Oh, thank you.
420
00:15:54,212 --> 00:15:55,446
My baby.
421
00:15:55,447 --> 00:15:58,148
And now it's over, forever,
422
00:15:58,149 --> 00:16:00,117
because I am so done with being controlled
423
00:16:00,118 --> 00:16:01,985
by my broken heart and Prince Harry.
424
00:16:01,986 --> 00:16:04,922
And I'm ready to become my own person.
425
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:08,058
Let's do this.
426
00:16:08,059 --> 00:16:09,560
Let us begin.
427
00:16:09,561 --> 00:16:13,597
Typically, and by kingdom charter,
428
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,266
when a princess breaks off
her engagement with the prince,
429
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,535
- it requires one simple action.
- Great.
430
00:16:18,536 --> 00:16:20,671
He demands your bra.
431
00:16:20,672 --> 00:16:22,639
My... my bra?
432
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,741
Your bra... To show to my friends.
433
00:16:24,742 --> 00:16:26,543
Absolutely not!
434
00:16:26,544 --> 00:16:27,811
I am a liberated woman.
435
00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:29,113
I am a warrior princess,
436
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:32,316
and I will not be giving
an 11-year-old my bra.
437
00:16:32,317 --> 00:16:33,951
Then death it is.
438
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:36,253
[Sighs] Fine.
439
00:16:36,254 --> 00:16:37,621
Unbelievable.
440
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,289
But I am lobbying to change this law.
441
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,591
Yes!
442
00:16:40,592 --> 00:16:43,593
443
00:16:47,432 --> 00:16:48,732
This is me.
444
00:16:48,733 --> 00:16:50,099
It is.
445
00:16:51,202 --> 00:16:53,937
I stitched it. It's your whole life.
446
00:16:53,938 --> 00:16:55,538
There's you when you were born.
447
00:16:57,709 --> 00:17:00,611
That's you being fitted for
your first suit of chain mail.
448
00:17:00,612 --> 00:17:03,547
Yeah, I remember that.
The blacksmith was all hands.
449
00:17:03,548 --> 00:17:05,315
Yeah, you can see it right there.
450
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,317
And that's you, waiting for me to play
451
00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:09,052
"Throw the Cabbage Around"...
452
00:17:09,053 --> 00:17:11,922
When I forgot and never showed.
453
00:17:11,923 --> 00:17:13,290
You're kidding.
454
00:17:13,291 --> 00:17:15,058
That's the day I won the M.V.K.
455
00:17:15,059 --> 00:17:16,927
At the St. Julian's day massacre.
456
00:17:16,928 --> 00:17:18,829
Most valuable knight.
457
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:21,865
You ripped those serfs to pieces.
458
00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:25,969
You couldn't know how proud I was that day.
459
00:17:25,970 --> 00:17:27,671
Mostly because I didn't tell you.
460
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:30,806
You've been following
my adventures this whole time.
461
00:17:32,744 --> 00:17:34,678
Why didn't you say anything?
462
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:38,315
You know us old-school knights.
463
00:17:38,316 --> 00:17:42,486
We can really only express
ourselves through tapestry.
464
00:17:42,487 --> 00:17:45,155
465
00:17:45,156 --> 00:17:46,690
I went mucking all about
466
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:49,993
On endless quests and empty wars
467
00:17:49,994 --> 00:17:54,097
And adventures
in a hundred ports of call
468
00:17:54,098 --> 00:17:57,401
And yet somehow I missed out
on one adventure
469
00:17:57,402 --> 00:18:00,037
Mine and yours
470
00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:04,140
And it should have been
the greatest one of all
471
00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:07,777
But there's something you should know.
472
00:18:10,248 --> 00:18:13,684
I was there, I was there
473
00:18:13,685 --> 00:18:16,687
In my heart, in every prayer
474
00:18:16,688 --> 00:18:19,089
Never said it out loud
475
00:18:19,090 --> 00:18:22,125
But I've always been proud
476
00:18:22,126 --> 00:18:26,263
If you somehow can forgive me
477
00:18:26,264 --> 00:18:30,267
I'll be
478
00:18:30,268 --> 00:18:33,202
There
479
00:18:37,275 --> 00:18:40,043
Go and rescue your princess, Galavant.
480
00:18:40,044 --> 00:18:43,213
Marry her.
481
00:18:43,214 --> 00:18:47,216
And be the father and husband I never was.
482
00:18:49,988 --> 00:18:51,587
Dad?
483
00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:54,957
You want to play Throw the Cabbage Around?
484
00:18:56,628 --> 00:18:57,893
Grab a head.
485
00:19:07,639 --> 00:19:09,872
I'm sorry your birthday's been such a bust.
486
00:19:11,743 --> 00:19:13,877
I really tried to get someone to hit you.
487
00:19:13,878 --> 00:19:16,446
It's all right.
488
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:18,282
It's just nice to know you care.
489
00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,984
But I do have one last birthday surprise
490
00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:22,718
that unexpectedly arrived.
491
00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:25,254
I think you're going to love it.
492
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:30,093
How would you like an unprovoked war
493
00:19:30,094 --> 00:19:31,727
with the kingdom of Hortensia?
494
00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:35,065
Best birthday present ever.
495
00:19:35,066 --> 00:19:37,366
[Both laugh]
496
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:41,171
Dingdong.
497
00:19:41,172 --> 00:19:44,173
498
00:19:44,609 --> 00:19:46,175
[Chuckles]
499
00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:49,613
Nice throw, son.
500
00:19:49,614 --> 00:19:51,014
Thanks, dad.
501
00:19:51,015 --> 00:19:53,150
This cabbage is spent.
502
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,950
I'll grab another.
503
00:19:55,420 --> 00:19:57,287
- Stop!
- Finish him!
504
00:19:57,288 --> 00:19:59,589
- Get the king!
- Cheaters! Ch...
505
00:19:59,590 --> 00:20:01,925
[children laughing]
506
00:20:01,926 --> 00:20:04,026
Ow! Galavant!
507
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:07,630
Sid! You escaped!
508
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:11,468
[Chuckles]
509
00:20:11,469 --> 00:20:13,670
All right, okay. That's... that's close.
510
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:14,471
Too close.
511
00:20:14,472 --> 00:20:15,706
Okay.
512
00:20:15,707 --> 00:20:17,407
Oh, it's good to see you, sir.
513
00:20:17,408 --> 00:20:19,142
I have news.
514
00:20:19,143 --> 00:20:20,911
Princess Isabella is being forced to marry
515
00:20:20,912 --> 00:20:21,978
her cousin in Hortensia.
516
00:20:21,979 --> 00:20:25,082
I know. And I'm not gonna let it happen.
517
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:26,883
I'm gonna raise an army to rescue her.
518
00:20:26,884 --> 00:20:28,819
Then I've got something you'll want.
519
00:20:28,820 --> 00:20:30,387
Look out!
520
00:20:30,388 --> 00:20:32,222
Wild monkeys!
521
00:20:32,223 --> 00:20:33,357
Your sword!
522
00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:34,558
Raar!
523
00:20:34,559 --> 00:20:35,592
[Grunts]
524
00:20:35,593 --> 00:20:37,727
Roberta: Richard, they're children!
525
00:20:39,230 --> 00:20:41,263
Galavant, look out!
526
00:20:41,966 --> 00:20:43,233
[Fleshy thud]
527
00:20:43,234 --> 00:20:44,233
[Gasps]
528
00:20:45,837 --> 00:20:48,105
[Gasps]
529
00:20:48,106 --> 00:20:50,272
No-o-o!
530
00:20:53,010 --> 00:20:54,978
Oh, what have I done?
531
00:20:54,979 --> 00:20:58,113
I've had worse.
532
00:21:00,098 --> 00:21:02,098
Maybe not.
533
00:21:02,148 --> 00:21:06,698
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